Sharing Life: 3 Ways to Help Mentor a Teenager

Today it is my privilege to welcome Sarah to my Sharing Life series. We met in an online blogger’s group and I have found her to be engaging and serious about reaching out to teen girls. She is the founder and operator of Transformed4More.com, a ministry for teenaged girls. She has a heart for teenagers and wants them to realize that the false ideas and fantasies the world sells them will never fulfill them. That is something only God can do.

Please connect with Sarah using the links at the end of this post.

 

3 Ways to Mentor a Teen

 

Oh, the teenage years. Whether they were the best days of your life, or you’re glad you only had to do them once, most can agree it proves a stressful time. Parents, teachers, friends, dating, driving, getting your first job, preparing for adult life in such a short span can be overwhelming at times.

Over the past decade, there has been a dramatic shift in our culture towards the acceptance of sin in virtually any form. Today, it is more important than ever to be sure you are setting an example for Christ and mentoring any teenager or young person you can.

The thought of mentoring a teenager can seem intimidating to some; however, today’s post is geared to help you overcome your fear and show you how to help mentor any teen you come in consistent contact with. So how do you help?

Don’t let fear stop you

What if they don’t think I’m cool?”

“I haven’t been in high school in 20 years, what do I know about teens today?”

“What would we talk about?”

“What if I mess up?”

Fear commonly gets in the way when we attempt to do God’s work. Don’t listen to the fear; it is not of God. In fact, the Bible says “Fear not” over 300 times!

Many people think teenagers are particularly judgmental.  This may be true in how they relate to their peers, but, honestly, it does not often stretch to adults. Most of the time, they appreciate the chance to talk about themselves and have someone take an interest in them.

Don’t let the fear of “what if” stop you from making Kingdom impact.

 

Be consistent

Hebrews 13:8 states, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Does this mean you have to mentor a teen forever? No, but since we are to model the life of Christ, this verse reveals the importance of consistency.  This trait proves a key factor in building a mentoring relationship.

If you want to be a true mentor, you need to be consistent with your time. Whether it’s checking up on them Sunday at church, coffee on Thursday nights, or get togethers every other week,  being intentional about your time goes a long way in showing the teen that you genuinely care. They can “smell” fake. I swear.

 

Listen more than you talk

James 1:19 stresses, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

When mentoring, it can be hard not to want to share your expertise and life experience that you feel would help your teen. However, always do more listening than speaking; sometimes all they need is for you to listen.

After you feel like they’ve “gotten it off their chest,” ask if they would like your advice or if they’d like to know how a similar situation happened to you. Realizing that you truly listened to them will make them more open to your stories and advice.

 

In Closing

 It’s been said, “Whoever wants the next generation will get them.” Satan is fighting hard to add to his numbers. We need take steps to do whatever we can to win this next generation for Christ. Is there any teen in your life you could invest more in to? Are there mentoring opportunities you’ve always wanted to do, but fear is holding you back? Don’t let it!

Never be afraid to do Kingdom work. If God is with you, who can be against you?

Sarah Tranformed 4 More

 

You can connect with Sarah in several ways:

Social Media:

Instagram: Transformed4More

Twitter: @Transformed4Mor

Facebook: Transformed4More

Pinterest: Transformed4Mor

You Tube: Transformed4More Ministries

Website: Transformed4More.com

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Does Your Life Flow Inward or Outward?

I don’t know about you, but for me, it is so easy to fall into the world’s line of thinking.

 

I got mine, you get yours.

 

It’s all about me.

 

What’s in it for me?

 

Problem is, for a Christian, this way of thinking is completely contrary to what Jesus taught. It is also contrary to what I had modeled for me growing up. Although I never fully realized the scope of what my parents did for others until they were gone, I knew they were generous toward those who were in need…both in the body of Christ and outside of it.

 

 

Does Your Life Flow Inward or Outward

 

 

At my Daddy’s funeral, my Mother, Sister, and I greeted hundreds who came to pay their respects. Over and over people told us how my Daddy had helped them.

He paid my house payment when I was about to lose my home.

 

He came to my appliance store, bought a refrigerator, and told me where to deliver it. But he said that I was not to tell the recipients who provided it.

 

When my electricity was about to be cut off, he paid my bill.

 

He bailed me out of jail when I made a poor choice.

Then, when my Mother died, many shared similar stories of her love and generosity.

These testimonies, and so many more, were evidence of Romans 12:13 in the life of my parents.

 

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

I love the reminder offered by John MacArthur in his commentary on the book of Romans.

 

The flow of the supernatural life is outward, not inward.

 

It is true. The life modeled after Jesus is not a life of selfish ambition, but one of self-less sacrifice and offering.

Billy Graham said:

 

The smallest package I ever saw was a man wrapped up wholly in himself.

 

As I think about the life that Jesus lived, I see a life of service and hospitality to others:

He healed

He restored life

He taught

He loved

He wept

He ate with the outcast

He never heaped shame on those who sought Him out

He took my place on the cross and paid the fine for my sin

 

So, really, how can I justify being selfish and self-serving? Everything I have…my body, my money, my talents, my time, my home, everything…..is on loan to me from God. None of it is really mine, so if the Jesus-life tells me to be generous in giving and hospitable to others, how can I do otherwise?

The question then becomes whether the flow of my life is outward or inward. It is the question for your life, as well.

Outward or Inward?

 

One of the ways I seek to help women develop that outward flowing life is to encourage them to walk more intimately with Christ. September 15-17, 2017 the Come Away retreat for women will offer ladies an opportunity to lean into Jesus in a beautiful, relaxed setting. In our world of constant stimulation and social media, one must be intentional in their pursuit of Christ. Come Away with Jesus for a weekend! Click HERE to learn more.

 

SDG/FCA!!

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What To Do When Trials and Pain Are Your Constant Companions

What does your prayer list/journal look like? If it is anything like mine, it is filled with a whole passel of painful things as well as random praises sprinkled throughout. Let me give you a sampling of the things over which I am currently praying:

A marriage that has had the tarnation beat out of it….but the couple has decided to try one more time and work it out

An inoperable brain tumor in a loved one

An overwhelmed single mom of a handful of kids

A family with several members who need Jesus

An alcoholic who has no interest in Jesus or in life

New community Bible study groups beginning at our church (Yay!)

An upcoming retreat…that I am organizing and speaking (so humbled that God allows me to do this)

My kids and my nephews

Our divided and angry country

A beautiful 20-something who is battling an eating disorder

My new church (How blessed we are to have it!)

A family whose 50-something dad is battling an aggressive form of dementia

A precious elderly saint who is going blind while dealing with a husband with dementia

A friend in the battle of their life with alcohol

And SO MUCH MORE!!!

 

When Trials and Pain Are Your Constant Companions

 

 

Even with the good things sprinkled in, there are some days I can hardly open my journal without crying. There is so much hurt in our world, so much pain, so much mess. How can I make a difference? How do I even process it all? Some days all I can do is put my head down on the table and cry out, “Jesus, please help.”

Into all of it comes Romans 12:12:

 

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

I have to remind myself that because of Jesus, there is hope for every situation. It is always too soon to give up on Jesus and the work that He longs to do in the lives of other people, and in my life. I have a flip calendar in my downstairs bathroom and one of the pages says, “I have hope and I’m not afraid to use it.” I love that. People, we must hold onto the hope of new life and healing and strength and provision that Jesus can offer. We must.

We also must be patient in trials and tribulation. Oh yeah, I want life to be easy, but the reality is that it usually is NOT. I want hurt and pain and trials to pass quickly….like a day off work…zoom, and it is over. Problem is sometimes God needs some time to work some junk out of us and trials are the only way it will happen. I know you are glad you stopped in and read this post today! We must be patient as we go through trials, remembering that God has allowed that trial for some reason. We must trust that He will make it pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Finally, we must be constant in prayer. It is so important to stay in relationship and communication with God. In the good times and the bad, we need to have that ongoing dialogue with Him. He wants to hear from us. We need to hear from Him. So, friends, let us

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

SDG/FCA!

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Authentic: Have You Lost Your Spiritual Passion?

I am not a lazy woman. Most days I have a list of tasks that need accomplished and I revel in checking off that list throughout the day. As I have shared here and here before, rest is not something that comes easily to me. I have to be very intentional about carving out times of rest and relaxation. I definitely do not want to have to re-travel the road of God having to put me on my back in order to convince me to rest.

So, why is it that for someone who is so driven in daily tasks, it is sometimes easy to slide into laziness in my Christian walk? Oh, you too?

 

Romans 12 11 Spiritual Passion

 

That brings me to Romans 12:11, the verse that we are studying in our Authentic Christianity series this week.

 

Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. (ESV)

 

Let’s take a look at the verse in the NIV.

 

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. (NIV)

As we have already studied in this series there are certain behaviors and attitudes that mark a Christ-follower.

Offering our entire selves to Christ as a living sacrifice

Allowing our minds to be transformed by His Word

Humility

Genuine love

Calling evil what it is

 

There are also other actions that mark a believer:

Bible study

Prayer

Sharing Christ with others

Making life and character choices that are godly

 

I am diligent about some of these things, but not so much with some others. I do very well with staying in Bible study, but sometimes grow lazy in my prayer life and in sharing Jesus with other people. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I fall into Satan’s trap of thinking that my prayer life is not as important as staying in the Word. Now, that makes about as much sense as me deciding that I will read all about my husband, Greg, but it really is not important for me to talk with him. Our relationship would never grow and deepen if we did not talk to each other. Same thing with my relationship with the Lord. If I only read about Him in the Word, but never have conversations with Him, my faith will stagnate.

Then, there is the issue of talking about Jesus and what He has done in my life with other people. Sometimes I am timid about it. Sometimes I am fearful of what others will think of me. But, according to Scripture, believers in Jesus have everything we need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3), and that means we are equipped to share Him with others. Could it be that I am not remembering the sacrifice Jesus made for me? Perhaps I have grown lazy in my remembering the cross and the empty tomb?

Y’all, I do not want to be lacking in enthusiasm and passion for serving my Jesus. I want to always remember the sacrifice that He made for me. So, how do we keep our spiritual fervor?

Well, I think that it has to start with remembering…remembering what Jesus has done for us…remembering what He has saved us FROM, as well as TO. It also includes staying diligent in studying His Word and in prayer. I am convinced it also requires me to stay in fellowship with other believers. Christian community is where we are encouraged and, yes, even corrected when we stray.

The better you and I know Jesus, the more we love Him. A vibrant Christian walk does not just happen, friend. It requires diligence and work. It requires sacrifice and persistence. But, it is so worth it.

So, let’s not be Eeyore Christians….walking around all gloomy and negative. Let’s show the world that walking with Jesus is exciting and fulfilling by maintaining our spiritual vibrancy!

Are there other ways you maintain your passion for Christ? I’d love for you to share them in the comments.

SDG/FCA!!

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How Do You Treat Other Christians?

Have you ever watched a sea gull? When in flight he powerfully lifts himself higher and higher with every flap of his wings until he is higher than any other gull. Then, he gracefully circles down to the earth. The gull seems to be all about performing and excelling.

What happens, though, when Mr. Gull gets into a flock of gulls? It is not a pretty sight. There are territorial fights over food that cause feathers to fly everywhere. The word ‘share’ is not in the gull’s vocabulary. Philip Yancey said that ‘they are so fiercely competitive and jealous that if you tie a red ribbon around the leg of one gull, making him stand out, you sentence him to execution. The others in his flock will furiously attack him with claws and beaks, hammering through feathers and flesh to draw blood. They’ll continue until he lies flattened in a bloody heap.”

 

Romans 12 10 How Do you Treat Other Christians

 

By contrast, consider a flock of geese. You’ve seen them flying in a V-formation, honking all the way to wherever they are going. Scientists know that geese fly faster in that V-formation. The lead goose is the one doing all the work, flying against the wind. It is because of this that there is a regular swapping of positions among the geese in the V which allows the flock to fly long distances without stopping to rest. Everyone shares in the tough job.

The geese with the easiest jobs are those in the back…the last one on each end of the V. It has been observed that the stronger geese allow the weaker and older of the flock to stay in these lighter-work positions. All that honking may even be a way for the geese to encourage one another to keep flying.

If a goose becomes too sick or weak to fly, she is not abandoned. A healthy goose will stay on the ground with the sick or weak one until she is ready to fly again. While gulls are individualistic and territorial, geese are concerned about the flock as a whole, as well as their individual goose-friends.

Into this story we insert today’s verse in our Authentic Christianity study. Check out Romans 12:10.

 

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

 

The kind of love that is being spoken of in this verse is the love of a friend or a family member, rather than romantic love. As Christians we are to be tenderly affectionate toward other Christians. We are to seek the good of our Christian brothers and sisters, rather than maligning them and dishonoring them. The apostle Paul echoed this admonition in Philippians 2:3 when he told the believers in Philippi to consider others better than themselves.

I will just tell you that the last part of Romans 12:10 is hugely convicting to me. HUGELY! I fail miserably at showing honor to other people. Oh sure, I honor my parents and those who are older than me. But, I sometimes get a big old ‘F’ when it comes to honoring those who seem to be making poor life choices or are different than me. This should remind us of Romans 12:3 where we are told to ‘not think more highly of ourselves than we ought’.  If we take this verse seriously, we will show real appreciation, respect, and care for others. We will put their welfare before our own, and we will be Jesus-with-skin-on to them.

So, friend, are you a gull or a goose?

 

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The Day I Watched “Say Yes to the Dress” ~ Authentic Christianity

Recently I attended a continuing education seminar for pharmacists. Sounds fun, huh? The seminar was chock full of excellent information, but unfortunately I was battling some type of viral illness, so by the end of 8 hours of seminar sitting, I was done. Just done. On the first day, I went back to my hotel room, changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed at 5pm. Then, I did something I almost never do. I turned on the television. Flipping channels to find the national news, I stumbled upon a channel offering a program about which I had heard, but never seen.

I’m a girl, and what girl doesn’t like weddings? Immediately I was sucked into “Say Yes to the Dress”. At first, it seemed harmless enough. Bride and family go to store to choose a wedding dress for the big day. Then, the wheels came off the wagon. Lesbian bride and family go to store to choose a wedding dress for the big day. Then, the ox goes into the ditch. Lesbian bride and her bride (is that how you phrase it?) go to store with families to choose wedding dress and one-piece wedding jumpsuit. Seriously? 

 

Romans 12:9b Say Yes to the Dress

 

I know you must be so glad you stopped in today!?! I promise I am going to tie this into Romans 12. Here goes. Do you know what plumb or a plumb line is? Have you ever made use of one?

Merriam-Webster.com defines plumb as ‘a lead weight attached to a line and used to indicate a vertical direction’.

As we study through Romans 12 we are reading all about the plumb line for authentic Christianity. The lead weight is our life, the line is the Word of God which is connected to God, the ultimate Vertical Direction. The entire chapter of Romans 12 is chock full of admonitions for how to live a Jesus-like life. Today we venture into the last half of verse 9 and shewww-eee, is it a doozy!!

 

Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (ESV)

 

Evil is the opposite of holiness, therefore it should not be part of the Jesus follower’s heart. In fact, the word abhor is pretty strong here. Synonyms for it are hate, detest, loath, and despise. It has been said that the only protection against sin is to be shocked by it.

How often are we shocked by sin today? How often does evil stun us? Oh sure, the really bad stuff like Christians being beheaded or child abuse or sex trafficking shocks us, but even those things don’t cause us whiplash like they should. We live in an information saturated world and receive so many images and words that we have become a bit callous to it all. May I offer you a quote from John MacArthur? These words were published in 1994, so it was well before the internet became so popular.

 

The constant bombardment of our senses through TV, newspapers, magazines, movies, and books with the immoralities, violence, and perversions of modern society makes it difficult to be shocked by anything. Tragically, many Christians regularly entertain themselves with sheer ungodliness, perhaps rationalizing that, simply by being a Christian, they are somehow immune from the sinful infection.

 

MacArthur goes on to say, “we cannot flirt with sin and escape falling into it.” 

No, we cannot. Sin affects us greatly….even when we think it doesn’t. Y’all, I’m not just talking about the ‘small sins’ (as if there were such things). No, I’m talking about things that, 50 years ago, would have been considered evil. Those things are not only accepted by Christians today, they are celebrated. Sex outside of marriage, homo- bi-, trans-sexuality, and abortion, just to name a few. Watching all the ‘love’ being celebrated on ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ reminded me of how accepted homosexuality and other sin has become.

Let’s also talk about pride, lying, stealing, jealousy, uncontrolled anger, and hurtful words? Those things are sin, too, and they break the heart of God. We are to abhor it and have nothing to do with it. Do you? Do I?

How is that working out for us? Have we become so de-sensitized to it all that we just accept it and go on?

The second part of this admonition is to hold onto, cling to, what is good. The Greek word used for cling/hold is from the word kolla, which means glue. Good things ought to stick to us. What are those good things? Philippians 4:8 tells us that they are whatever is:

True

Honorable

Right

Pure

Lovely

Of good repute

Excellent

Worthy of Praise

 

Don’t rush past that list! We need to use discernment and carefully, thoughtfully examine everything to see if it passes the good test.

We must love and show compassion to those who are not living by the plumb line of God’s Word, but we must never allow their sin to become our own…we must never soften the message of the gospel in order to appease feelings. Hell is at stake here, y’all, and it is our duty to call sin what it is, just as Jesus would have done…with love, compassion, but always with truth.

Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.

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I have linked to this before, but I wanted to offer it again because I am such a fan of The Journible. It is an awesome way to really cement God’s Word in our heart. Writing out a complete book of the Bible is powerful, y’all. Here is the link to The Journible for Romans.