I’m reading a book that is sooooo speaking to me. I know, I know! I’ve said that before about other books, but this one has spoken a major word of confirmation into my heart. It is as if the author stood at my emotional mailbox for the past year and read every piece of mail that came and went. Every stinkin’ piece.
I suspected that God was up to something over the course of the past year, but just did not know what it was. Now, I’m beginning to see the picture develop as the processing fluid washes over the film of the past few months of my life.
The book is Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole. Perhaps you have read it…..or perhaps it has read you. This book has read the past year of my life. If you have been around The Point for more than a few weeks, you will know that I have talked about the quiet place that God has had me in for months now. This has been a place of few speaking opportunities, but abundant time to write and process many thoughts. This was not a place that I particularly wanted to visit, but it was obviously a place that the Lord had scheduled into my life, whether I liked it or not. Quiet places are hard for me. I’m a do-er, a mover, a shaker. I’m not a be-still kind of girl. Yet, God knew that I needed stillness in ministry in order to write the Bible study that I have just completed.
May I be totally honest? In the midst of this quiet place, I even questioned whether I had heard God wrong about my calling to a speaking ministry. I pondered whether I was the one person whose calling might have been revoked for some reason, despite the fact that the Word says that God’s gifts and calling are irrevocable.
Then I found Anonymous. I had not even read through the introduction before my breath was completely knocked out of me by Chole’s words. Allow me to share the paragraphs that brought me to my knees. In the sentences preceding these paragraphs, Chole talked about how winter affects a tree and she likened our lives to trees.
And so it is with us. Seasonally, we too are stripped of visible fruit. Our giftings are hidden; our abilities are underestimated. When previous successes fade and current efforts falter, we can easily mistake our fruitlessness for failure.
But such is the rhythm of spiritual life: new growth, fruitfulness, transition, rest….new growth, fruitfulness, transition, rest. Abundance may make us feel more productive, but perhaps emptiness has greater power to strengthen our souls.
In spiritual winters, our fullness is thinned so that, undistracted by our giftings, we can focus upon our character. In the absence of anything to measure, we are left with nothing to stare at except for our foundation.
The Father’s work in us does not sleep—-though in spiritual winters he retracts all advertisement. And when he does so, he is purifying our faith, strengthening our character, conserving our energy, and preparing us for the future.
Anonymous pp. 2-3
The rhythm of spiritual life….new growth, fruitfulness, transition, rest. Of course! I can see each of those seasons in my ministry up to this point. It makes perfect sense….in retrospect.
Abundance may make us feel more productive, but perhaps emptiness has greater power to strengthen our souls. The more I did in ministry, the more productive I felt. Sometimes increased busyness does mean more productivity, but other times busyness is a diversion straight from the pit of hell. Busyness rarely strengthens our soul. It is only in the lean and dry times that we are challenged to trust the Lord and grow in our faith.
As I look back on the past year, I am keenly aware of the times when the Father was purifying my faith, strengthening my character, and conserving my energy. All through the past year, I have had an edginess~~that sense of there is something else; something more is going to happen. The words that the Father spoke to my heart over and over were “Wait and trust me”. My Abba has been preparing me for something else, something more that is very close to happening. I just sense it. Still and yet, I’ve come to a place where I am completely content being in the quiet place with Him.
Perhaps that has been His goal all along…………….
