To be honest with you, the Lord has me in a place, a quiet place, where He is doing some refining work in my heart and this was just another of those instances where the skilled hands of the Master Surgeon cut away a piece of my diseased heart with the goal of replacing it with a piece of His heart.
What ugliness did His work reveal? Selfishness—that ‘it’s all about me’ feeling. I’m tired, I’m hateful, and I just want to be left alone—and by the way, DO NOT cross me!! This is what my poor family experienced one day this week. How ugly is that!!!
Let’s look at Jonah for a moment and see this very attitude cropping up in His life. Recall with me that God called Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh and tell the people of Nineveh that unless they repented of their wickedness, God would completely destroy them. Jonah hated the people of Nineveh and he didn’t care two hoots whether they lived or died. He tried to run away from doing what God asked, but as we know he got into deep trouble for his disobedience. Eventually Jonah decided that he probably should do as God asked and he headed out to Nineveh to preach to the people of the city.
From the moment he entered the city and began to give the people the warning, they began repenting. From the palace to the poor man’s house, the people of Nineveh repented of their ways and God’s judgment was averted.
Jonah should be happy, he should be thrilled, he should be rejoicing that the people of Nineveh were spared total destruction. He should be, but he wasn’t. Jonah was so full of self pity, selfishness and hatred that all he could see was how this sudden turn of events affected him.
In all fairness to ole’ Jonah, he had been through a lot—sent to preach to a people who were enemies of his people, thrown overboard in midst of a raging storm, swallowed by a fish, covered in fishy gastric juices and other yuck from the fish’s belly, tired, hungry and possibly half naked, Jonah had been through the wringer. It was, however, a wringer of his own making.
Listen with me to the pity party that Jonah throws when he sees the people of Nineveh repenting.
Jonah 4: 1-3 (NLT)
This change of plans upset Jonah, and he became very angry. So he complained to the LORD about it: “Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, LORD? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you were a gracious and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. I knew how easily you could cancel your plans for destroying these people. Just kill me now, LORD! I’d rather be dead than alive because nothing I predicted is going to happen.”
Well, how is that for selfish?? Jonah wanted God to show him mercy and save him from the belly of the fish, but he didn’t want any of that same mercy to be extended to his enemies.
And that is what the Lord showed me this week. In my fatigue, everything became about me and how I felt. So, I snapped at my husband, I was short with other family members, I didn’t fully engage in my Bible study group. I was just a miserable sight to behold. Yet, the Lord extended the same mercy and grace to me in my miserable state that He has always offered. He said to me, “Yes, Leah, you are tired and irritable, but I still love you. Extend that same grace to others.”
Perhaps the Master Surgeon is carving on a part of your heart in order to replace it with His. Give in to His work, dear friend. It will be worth all the pain.
